


it's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah

by steelatoms



Category: The Originals (TV)
Genre: Angst, Bisexual Kol Mikaelson, Canonical Character Death, Davina is a Good Wife, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Immortality, M/M, Major Spoilers, Not A Fix-It, Past Abuse, Post-Episode: s05e13 When The Saints Go Marching In, Promises, Sadness, italics mean flashback
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-02
Updated: 2018-08-02
Packaged: 2019-06-20 18:20:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15540189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/steelatoms/pseuds/steelatoms
Summary: Kol returns home to Davina after the worst day of his immortal life.





	it's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah

**Author's Note:**

> SOOO THAT FINALE WAS A HOT MESS
> 
> but im sad and kol is sad and needs love
> 
> also kol is bi i dont make the rules
> 
> also i actually acknowledge finn and henrik lol

_ “Elijah?” a small voice asked in the dead of the night as one boy finished reading a bedtime story. _

 

_ “Yes?” an older voice replied, looking over to the small shape curled under fur blankets. _

 

_ The childish, innocent question that left the boy’s mouth almost broke the elder’s heart, “A-Are we going to stay by each other, our family?” _

 

_ “Of course we are, dear brother.” Elijah replied, “Forever.” _

 

_ The younger asked, “You promise?” _

 

_ “Of course.” the elder reached over and tucked his brother in some more, “Now, Kol.  Father is taking us hunting tomorrow, so you best get some sleep.” he gave a gentle smile. _

 

_ Kol smiled back, then asked, “Will you be there in the morning?” _

 

_ “Yes, I will be.” Elijah ruffled his brother’s hair, “As will Niklaus, Finn, Rebekah and Henrik.” _

 

_ Kol nodded and yawned, shuffling until he was more comfortable, “Goodnight, ‘Lijah.” _

 

_ “Goodnight, Kol.” Elijah leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his forehead. _

 

*

 

Kol couldn’t stop the memories from filling his brain as he pulled up to his house, his eyes stinging with tears from the painful, godawful day he had been having.  He checked his phone to see what time it was.

 

Through bleak and bleary eyes, he read that the clock was stating it was three thirty in the morning.

 

_ Shit,  _ he thought, rubbing his face as he looked at the window.

 

The living room lights were still on; he had been so preoccupied with his family drama that he had forgotten to text or phone his wife.  He couldn’t imagine how worried she was, but that wasn’t on his mind.

 

As he finished parking and shut off the engine, Kol heard the front door open and saw Davina come outside, clad in a flowing nightgown, looking like a vision sent straight from heaven as she wandered over.

 

_ “Kol?”  _ her voice sounded distant, maybe because Kol couldn’t focus on anything but the pain stabbing in his chest, “Kol, what’s wrong?”

 

Of course she’d know something was off; Davina Claire knew Kol Mikaelson like she knew magic, or classical music.

 

When he didn’t reply, simply unlocked the car door and clambered out, the concern within her grew.

 

She cupped his cheek, roaming her eyes over his exhausted, devastated expression, “What is it?”

 

“I-It’s--” the words caught in Kol’s throat and he felt hot tears burning in the back of his eyes.

 

He was the only son left, one of  _ three  _ living children.  He couldn’t focus on that, he couldn’t focus on his last embrace with Elijah, crying softly into his shoulder.  He  _ couldn’t _ focus on the fact that Klaus’ daughter would live as an orphan.

 

He couldn’t focus on anything but.

 

He should’ve been happy; all his life, he had wanted away from them, but like this?

 

His family, the one constant he had through a thousand years of debauchery and misery, the ones who  _ made  _ him miserable most of the time, despite how much he loved them.

 

Torn apart.

  
Klaus, who would try and teach him to paint.  Elijah, who had held him as a baby, all those years ago.  His first memory of them, where they would play around in what became Mystic Falls, Elijah play-fighting with him.

 

His last, wanting to beg them not to go, but knowing there was nothing that he could do.  He wished he had more time. He wished-- he wanted.

 

“Kol, you’re scaring me.” Davina whispered, but it was enough to regain his attention, “Tell me what’s wrong.  Please. Let me help.”   
  


Kol shook his head and a sob burst from his chest, “Nik… Elijah… they’re both  _ gone.” _

 

“Oh, my God…” Davina mumbled, then pulled her husband close, “What happened?”

 

She may have hated the two, but she understood that Kol had a long and complicated history with them both, and that losing them must’ve been like losing a part of himself.

 

Kol tried to explain, but could barely make his words clear due to the heart-wrenching cries tearing uncontrollably from him, “N-Nik… he had…” he sobbed shakily into her neck, babbling, “D-dark magic… it was too late f-for… and Elijah, that self-sacrificial  _ bastard…  _ God, I spent so long hating them!” he sniffled, “T-Too long.”

 

“Hey… shh… it’s okay.” Davina ran her hands through his hair, “It’s okay.” she pulled away after a minute, looking at her husband’s wrecked, emotional demeanor and she took his hands, “How about we go inside, I can get you a drink?”

 

Kol was too upset to protest and allowed himself to be led into the house and sat on the sofa before Davina headed to the kitchen to get him a bottle of whiskey.

 

She returned with the bottle, seeing that he hadn’t calmed and was still sobbing, eyes cast downward.

 

_ “Kol?”  _ her voice was distant once again, and Kol couldn’t help but let another memory flash over him.

 

This time, it was less bittersweet as unfortunately, he had a shortage of good memories of Klaus.

 

*

 

_ “You only use me for a cheap means of entertainment!” Kol argued, “You then dagger me when you’re bored.” _

 

_ Klaus sighed, “Don’t be ridiculous, Kol.” _

 

_ “It’s true.” Kol snapped, “You take me out to murder and watch you whore around, mainly because I’m just an attraction.” _

 

_ Klaus shrugged, “If anyone’s whoring around, it’s you.” _

_   
_ _ “Why?” Kol growled, “Because I’ve been fucking both men  _ and  _ women?  Well who bloody cares?  It’s just intercourse, it’s not like I’m asking them to marry me or bear my damn children!” _

 

_ Klaus remarked, “As if.  Nobody could deal with your temper.” _ __   
  


_ “I’ll show you a fucking temper.” Kol said, “I will run these streets red with blood if I have to.  I will destroy everyone, and I do not  _ care  _ if Mikael comes because honestly, death would be a blessing rather than be excluded from your stupid bloody ‘Always and Forever’ nonsense.  You know what? Actually, seeing Mikael kill you would be rather entertaining. Maybe even your two enablers too. I’m sure he’d be glad to--” he was cut off when Klaus grabbed him by the throat, pinning him against the wall. _

 

_ Klaus snarled, “Brother, I warn you, if you do not shut your mouth, I will rip your tongue out.  Unless, you want to go back in the box?”  _

 

_ “Let…” Kol struggled, “Let me go.” _

 

_ Klaus glowered at him, and Kol felt a small jolt of fear begin in his spine, though he’d never admit it, “You are going to behave.  Or I will dagger you. Alright?" _

 

_ “Al…” Kol choked, “Alright!” _

 

_ Klaus dropped Kol to the ground seeing him cough by his feet, rubbing his neck where his brother’s nails had dug into his skin.  Kol looked up with hatred in his eyes, then ran out in a burst of speed. _

 

_ * _

 

“Kol?” Davina’s voice spoke,  _ “Kol, come back to me.” _

 

Kol felt lips press against his forehead and he blinked, coming back to reality for a second and feeling Davina’s skin against his.

 

“Davina…” he croaked, his voice weak.

 

Davina took his hands, putting the bottle of whiskey to the side, “Where were you?”

 

“Romania, 1310.” Kol replied, “Nik and I got into a… well… what our family called a ‘disagreement’.” he looked down, “Part of me wants to hate him for everything he’s done, every single bit of torture he’s inflicted on me.  I want to hate Elijah for  _ letting  _ him.”

 

Davina nodded, “But you don’t.”   
  


“No,” Kol sighed shakily, “Does that make me weak?  I mean, Elijah  _ killed  _ you.”

 

Davina shook her head, “I made my peace with what Elijah and Freya did to me a long time ago.”

 

_ “How?”  _ Kol wondered, his eyes searching her face.

 

Davina shrugged, “I guess… when you marry into that family, you either care about them all or none at all.”

 

“What a burden.” Kol wasn’t sure if his tone was meant to be sarcastic, but it sounded completely serious as it left his mouth.

 

His beautiful witch retorted, “It’s worth it.  I get to be with the love of my life.” she paused, “Tell me the good times.  When they  _ showed  _ they loved you.”   
  


“There’s not many.” Kol inhaled sharply, “But I remember when you first… when I… you know… Nik, he washed your blood off me and he hugged me, held me for a good ten minutes.  There’s also the first time I told Elijah I had been seeing a boy in Denver. He was respectful, despite being so old-fashioned.”   
  


Davina nodded; she had known about Kol’s bisexuality since before they started dating, back when he was in Kaleb Westphall’s body and made an off-handed comment about a ‘pretty bloke’ he had once had a thing with.

 

She had been completely accepting, which was more than Kol could say about Finn, who had labelled him a deviant.

  
Finn was dead too, and even though his eldest brother had literally  _ murdered  _ him, he couldn’t help but feel some pain at that.

 

Kol explained, “Then there was today.  Nik, before we were having our last dinner together, pulled me aside and told me…” he swallowed thickly, “He told me he was sorry for everything he had put me through.  He said he loved me, that… that I was the best annoying little brother he could have asked for.” he rubbed his eyes, “And then there’s Elijah… once he told us all about what he planned to do, that he was going to die alongside Nik… well… I can’t remember the last time he actually hugged me.  Or told me that he would always love me.” he sniffled again, “He told me… he told me that you were good for me, and no matter what…” he tightened his grip on her hand, “I should always hold onto love.”

 

“They loved you.” Davina murmured, “They were your brothers.”   
  


Kol nodded, “Bekah, she plans on taking the cure in a couple of decades.  So that means that me and Marcel will be the last Originals standing. Hope will grow old and die, most likely… Freya and Keelin will have their family.  And I… I’ll be alone.”

 

“No, you won’t.” Davina cupped his cheek again, “You’ll have me.”   
  


Kol shook his head, “You’ll grow old and die.”   
  


“Not if I become a vampire.” Davina explained, “I mean, I can slow my ageing, but one day… in the future.”   
  


Kol shook his head, “You’ll lose your powers, and as someone who has been through that, it isn’t pleasant.”

 

“By then, I’d hope that my powers, they wouldn’t be needed.  Hope, Freya and Keelin’s kid, if they have one,” she explained, “What I’m saying is one day, in the future, maybe ten, twenty years from now, I’d like to live out forever with you.”

 

Kol gave a choked sob, “Davina Claire, I do not deserve you,” he admitted before pulling her into a chaste kiss, “In the future, yeah?”

 

“Yeah.” Davina said, then tugged her husband down so his head was rested in her lap.  She ran her fingers through his hair and continued, “But for today, I want to be here for you.  I want you to know you can be open with me.”   
  


Kol nodded, relaxing into the feeling of fingers smoothing through the tresses of his hair, his eyelids growing heavy from the weight of everything that had happened that day.

 

Within moments, he was asleep, falling into a dream, knowing that he would see his family again in the land of slumber.

**Author's Note:**

> leave kudos/comments, as they are v helpful  
> this was written and rewritten and rewritten but isn't beta read plus im v dyslexic


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